What if we had to choose a President based on knowledge of pop culture?

What Stephen Bainbridge would want:

• Knows which wine to match with the foie gras-stuffed quail being served at a state dinner
• Won't wink at the Queen
• Doesn't hunt, fish, or go with girls who do
• Smokes cigars
• Is sometimes accused of having a metrosexual streak
• Only drinks beer with foods that would score at least 10,000 on the Scoville scale
• Can credibly debate the relative claims of The Matrix, Star Wars, Bladerunner, and Star Trek II to be the greatest science fiction movie of all time
• Can credibly debate the relative claims of the Who and Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band to be the world's greatest rock and roll band

(More items at the link.) I'm going to assume these are all things that are true of Stephen Bainbridge, who is mainly sick of all the Southern pop culture in presidential culture. But, frankly, he's got a few in there that would be disqualifiers for me. "Claims of the Who and Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band to be the world's greatest rock and roll band"? And you just know he means the 70s Who. I want my President to take a firm stand preferring pre-"Tommy" Who to post-"Tommy" Who. And I don't care if he -- Bainbridge's character is clearly a guy -- winks at the Queen, but I do want to see him do a karaoke performance of "We Are The Champions."

ADDED: Speaking of metrosexuals, this is pretty funny.