"Ashton Kutcher has better lighting, is directly facing the camera, and appears to have a cabinet and computer on his desk."

"Steve Jobs wore a metallic watch (unlike Kutcher’s black watch), sat on a wooden table, and had an artificial apple obstructing the view of his THINK poster."

"I see you've got some kind of a 'G.I. Jane' theme going today."

Says Meade, and I reply, "Yeah... hmmm... I should do a post about... you know, she has her problems."

"Goldie Hawn."

"No, it's not Goldie Hawn. Demi Moore."'

"I thought it was Goldie Hawn."

"Goldie Hawn is 'Private Benjamin'...



"Demi Moore is G.I. Jane...."



See the difference? Demi stood up to torture in G.I. Jane, but in real life, she's crushed by romantic heartbreak and seeking help from Deepak Chopra.

"['The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success'] is my bible. It is a practical guide to the fulfillment of your dreams..."

Deepak Chopra is a male, but he is distinctively nonmilitaristic:

Although terrorism is a tactic, what lies behind it is an idea, and once an idea seeps into people’s brains, bombs and mortar attacks won’t defeat it....

Our only hope... is to...  offer a more enticing idea in the long run. Peace and social reform are both enticing ideas....

Bush’s war on terror was a horrendous mistake, an ideological delusion and a failed tactic. It alienated most of the world and created as many extremists as it defeated. Obama knows all this. Now it’s time for him to lead us out of a self-created quagmire.

But enough about the terrorists. What can be done about Ashton Kutcher? Adultery is a tactic, what lies behind it is an idea, and once an idea seeps into people’s brains, bombs and mortar attacks won’t defeat it. Your only hope is to offer a more enticing idea in the long run....

Demi Moore smokes something, and the real victim is Gloria Steinem.

I don't know exactly why Demi Moore was hospitalized.

Friends and family who were with Moore indicated she has smoked something “similar to incense” and was burning up, shaking and convulsing. They said it was not marijuana.

X17 reported doctors are speculating whether Moore smoked synthetic cannabis, which is also referred to as “K2,” “herbal incense” or “spice.” There are also reports Moore drank excessive amounts of Red Bull energy drinks.

Troubling. Sad, indeed. And there's also the divorce (from her 16-years-younger husband, the very cute Ashton Kutcher). But the person my heart goes out to is Gloria Steinem. Demi Moore has now had to pull out from the role of Gloria Steinem in a movie about Linda Lovelace, the star of the historic porn-flick "Deep Throat." Replacing her is Sarah Jessica Parker. Imagine, one day, one of the most beautiful Hollywood stars is playing the role of you in a movie. And the next day, they've recast the role with an actress who... is just not even very pretty at all.

What's Gloria Steinem doing in a biopic about Linda Lovelace? Here, read "Out of Bondage," by Linda Lovelace (with Mike McGrady), introduction by Gloria Steinem. From the 1986 Publisher's Weekly review at the link:

Steinem's introduction declares her belief in the integrity of the revelations that shocked the public when Lovelace's Ordeal appeared. 

Note: I've read "Ordeal." (And I've never seen "Deep Throat.")

With McGrady, Lovelace here writes a sequel, the story of her life after she escaped from the pimp she claimed forced her into prostitution and into filming "Deep Throat." Many of the hideous experiences detailed in the first book are repeated here, which readers will find hard to bear, unless they are intrigued by the brutalizing pornography that pays handsomely for everyone except its victims. Naming celebrities and mob figures, Lovelace makes a strong case against demeaned "entertainment." Now a wife and mother, the former "sexual zombie" is also an active supporter of human rights. She lectures at colleges on degradations suffered by women as sex objects.

So who's playing Linda Lovelace? I found an old news story that said Lindsay Lohan had the role. Ah, now, I see it's Amanda Seyfried... and that there's a second Linda Lovelace biopic in the works.

Competing films of the same variety sometimes meet poor ends, as studios start rushing to be the first to release their version, which can damage the quality of the end product.

If only they'd take their time! What a fulfillment we might achieve!

"From the Mixed Up Twitter Files of Ashton E. Kutcher."

More evidence that — as previously noted — Twitter screws with your ethics.