Purchase of the (yester)day.

Panasonic ER-GN30-K Vortex Wet/dry Nose and Facial Hair Trimmer, Black (Amazon Associates earnings to this blog: $1.00). Portal, vortex, orifice – wherever you enter, good grooming is never out-of-season at the Althouse blog.

"Skincare company Nivea... ad shows a black man in the act of throwing out a full-face mask which has a beard and an afro."

"The image is juxtaposed with the slogan 'Re-Civilize Yourself.'"

Of course, people cried "racism," and predictably, Nivea withdrew the ad. By why was Nivea dumb enough not to predict the outcry? Was it because they also had a white man ad? As if people seeing one ad would know about the other and appreciate the balance?

Ron Howard does a really cool pro-Obama thing.

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Who in the McCain campaign got paid $22,800 for 2 weeks of work?

Sarah Palin's makeup artist.

That's from the NYT "Caucus" blog, where the first commenter notes the URL: "pains-makeup-stylist-fetches-highest-salary-in-2-week-period." Pain.

Let me add that I do not have a problem with paying a lot for the makeup job. It's extremely important. Remember how great Hillary Clinton always looked during the primaries. That didn't just happen. And bad makeup can screw up even a male candidate's campaign. Let's not forget the rouge that cost Al Gore the presidency:

This election always has been about one thing, and it was thoughtfully touched on by Kriss Soterion, the former Miss New Hampshire and owner-operator of Kriss Cosmetics & the Studio of Holistic Beauty in Manchester, N.H. Kriss, you may recall, was invited to do the vice president's makeup for the first Gore; Bush game. Before the debate, the local papers were running endless profiles of the hometown gal on the eve of her big break. After the debate, she entered the witness protection program. The pancake she smeared on Gore's cheeks, on top of his overly worked-out, 23-inch neck, on top of his lumpy suit, combined to make him look like Herman Munster doing a bad Ronald Reagan impression.

Poor old Kriss would like to make up for her makeup, but she fears she'll never get another chance, and now seems to be going through some existential crisis, riddled with self-doubt and questioning her calling. She told the New Hampshire Sunday News that her catastrophic touchup of Al has caused her to "think deeply" about "the psychology of makeup." "It just makes me think about the whole thing, about wearing masks," she said. "It's kind of a fascinating subject, to analyze why we hide behind it in the first place."

This is not a subject the vice president wants to discuss at this stage in the election cycle, but Kriss has a point. For the second presidential faceoff, Al was appearing without his face on -- not just the foundation and rouge, but in a broader sense: The mouth wasn't merely in non-sighing mode, it was zipped up and hung slack; the eyes seemed dead. The only remnants of last week's Gore were the eyebrows (N.B., Kriss: nice pencil liner) imperiously arched with the amused contempt of an overthrown king sitting through his own show trial. On Wednesday night, the vice president had the look of a man who'd run out of masks. After the expansive array of dazzling new Gores of the last year, the vice president apparently opened his closet and found that his housekeeper had sent all his identities to the cleaners.

Ha ha. That's Mark Steyn, writing in 2001. You do not want to lose the election over makeup.

"The best Sarah Palin look-alikes."

Wow.

Aw.

Unfair.

Oh, no!

Oh, noooooo! (Why was I not informed of this?)

ADDED: Start here to get explanations of who these people are, notably that last one.

Do you RNC campaign donors mind having spent $150,000 for Sarah Palin's wardrobe and $4,716.49 for her hair and makeup?

I assume you don't. She suddenly needed to look perfect for numerous high-profile appearances. How could she possibly have paid for all that herself? Imagine how she'd have been ripped apart if she'd relied on what she already had in her closet by all those folks who want to say: It's like McCain just picked your mom for VP.

But is it legal?

Federal law would bar the McCain-Palin campaign from converting campaign funds to "personal use" - a definition that specifically includes clothing purchases.

But a Republican strategist said the expenditure by the party committee was legal.

If it's not legal, there is an uneven burden on men and women. A male candidate can wear whatever business suits and shirts and ties he's had in his wardrobe for years. It's hard to go wrong. But the woman will be scrutinized, and there are so many pitfalls. Especially when she is suddenly elevated to the national stage -- like Sarah Palin -- a woman needs major fashion assistance.

ADDED: Here's the original report in Politico, and here you can see that the blogosphere is going wild over it. Of course, Palin opponents are going to use this material. Nothing wrong with that.

UPDATE: Apparently, it's not illegal:

Had the purchases been made by the McCain campaign, it would be a conversion of campaign money into personal use, which is prohibited. The same rule does not apply to money from party committees.

“The R.N.C. cleverly used the party committee’s money to avoid the liability that would have occurred if campaigns funds were used,” said Kenneth Gross, a lawyer who is an expert in campaign finance.

Beauty secret: nightingale droppings.

The Telegraph reports:

Shizuka cleaned my face with two cleansers - one clay and the other containing green tea, ground pearls, sake and Mount Fuji water, bottled at the source.

Following that, she mixed the nightingale droppings - which are powdered and sterilised using UV light - with rice bran and water to make a paste.

The concoction smelt pungent, but medicinal rather than unpleasant. She applied the droppings, and then massaged them into my face for five minutes.

Why nightingales, exactly? Why not any old bird's shit?

The Givhan of HuffPo is pretty sure her Women's Studies professor vomits whenever she sees Sarah Palin.

Karin Tanabe, who seems to be the Givhan of HuffPo -- which is nothing like the Mull of Kintyre -- takes a 2-week old Robin Givhan column -- which she quotes but doesn't link to -- and trashes of Sarah Palin's style.

Because it wasn't enough for Givhan to credit Palin with showing that "a woman can step onto the national political stage without having to manipulate her wardrobe into some torturous costume calibrated to make her look authoritative but not threatening, feminine but not sexy, serious but not dour."

Palin must be mocked.

Tanabe writes:

The point is, Sarah Palin and her hockey mom's, grandpa's and second cousins, don't want her to be authoritative.

It's funny when the Givhan of HuffPo falls prey to the grocer's apostrophe, is it not? Modeling haughtiness, she takes a pratfall.

Her bad highlights and her layers of puffy bangs scream "don't mind me, I've been filing my nails in a log cabin for the last decade and didn't know the bouffant was now reserved for burlesque dancers and women who think Vogue is a devilish jig invented by Madonna (cue giggle)." I'm pretty sure my college feminist literature professor is vomiting every time she sees bouffant Barbie. Don't worry Professor Hart, I am too.

Is that that what Women's Studies teaches these days -- inane snobbery? And when did throwing up become the preferred form of elite expression?

Spewing.

"The tattoo community sees them as posers. It’s like going out in the 1960s to buy a Beatles wig."

Said Bob Baxter, the editor of the tattoo journal Skin & Ink, of people who get hand or neck tattoos before they've inked up the rest of their bodies.

Why I love this quote:

1. Everything's a "community" these days. There's no escape. The tattoo community. The rugged individualist community. The loner community.

2. Who knew you had to earn your neck tattoo? I'd have thought getting a neck tattoo as opposed to, say, one of those peeping-over-the-pantyline tattoos was a real demonstration of commitment. Ten (or more) years ago I stood in line at the University Bookstore behind a pretty young woman who had a tattoo on her neck of an old-fashioned, claw-footed bathtub -- complete with the extended pipe and shower-head. "Poseur" is not the word that crossed my mind.

3. The simile. It's so inapt! The whole point of a wig is that you don't have to have the hair. It's the equivalent of a fake tattoo. But in another respect, a wig is out there. What man dares to wear a wig? Look at all the men who, balding, shave their heads. They miss their hair, but they still won't wear a wig. In the 60s, guys who wanted the Beatle look but needed a professional style some of the time would comb the front part down as well as they could and not go so long that they couldn't comb it up and over.

4. When I think of an actual wig, I think of Andy Warhol -- look at him here. He was doing something men still won't do. I know there are men who dress up like women and use lady's wigs for that, and there are plenty of women who rely on wigs, but where is the men in men's wigs community, eh?

"She seems nice. She seems smart. She likes hockey."

Fake Sarah Palin.

Getting Kristy Webb ready for the part:

10:45 a.m. - Hairstylist Nathalie Quedru teases Webb's hair in three different sections to perfect the Palin bun. Quedru says she hasn't done that hairstyle since 1986, when she was first getting her license.

Ooh. Catty.

(And real Sarah Palin was in NYC too.)

Palpatinian tranche.

I've been reading and listening to people talk for over a half century, so it's really weird to have to look up 2 words in 2 hours.

First, MadisonMan, he of the bird's-eye view of the Michelle Obama rally-ette, said:

I agree that McCain's post-hit grin is a little too Palpatinian.

Okay, now you know I haven't been following the "Star Wars" saga. I'm not ashamed of that. In fact, I'm one of those people who blame "Star Wars" for ruining film.

And then I had to go and read the Gawker item with the revolting title: "Why We Are Better For Knowing Elizabeth Wurtzel Screwed David Foster Wallace."

That Elizabeth Wurtzel had some thing with David Foster Wallace in the nineties is the type of news flash I'd like to have failed detecting this week. Namely because to blog about Elizabeth Wurtzel is to tempt oneself to unwind the various tranches of disquietude summoned when someone like me conducts a Wurtzel Google Image Search. There's the first tranche of familiarity; I've conducted this search before; the second: I remember quickly that I will invariably, though tempted by the grainy topless shots from Bitch, will like Radar before me quickly settle on the hottest color photo available, the one she used for the cover of her 2001 addiction memoir More, Now, Again, even though Wurtzel has graciously offered us photographic evidence that she has, in the intervening (ohgod) seven and a half years, aged. For this is not a new asset, this story; the underlying episode dates back to the nineties, when Wurtzel was still dressing up her faculties and skills with too much blue eyeliner and too many mood-altering substances in lieu of the appropriate degree of risk management and/or clothes.

I admit it. I don't study finance. That's why I unfortunately cannot help you with the burning question of the day, whether the big bailout is the desperately needed cure or a horrible, evil boondoggle. I'm sorry. Really.

So let's examine that tranche for a second: here we have Wurtzel, drawn to David and his big, serious, ambitious, meaty, unfrivolous gold standard of a book; David, drawn to Wurtzel by her fucking leotard and perhaps her nebulous promise to impart upon his serious asset some sort of value-unlocking sense of "buzz"; the confusing, fuzzy subprime relationship they signed onto; all fuzzy fundamentals and wild histrionics and bombastic promises dependent on "trajectories" neither knows how — neither is socialized to know how — to prepare for a soft landing; yeah, you've done that sort of fucking.

Is Gawker trying to write like David Foster Wallace? David's dead, baby.



David's dead, but there were some good movies after "Star Wars."

Why men shave their heads.

Christina Reihill writes:

While the idea of the modern man as a hairless metrosexual more interested in manicures than motors challenges my notions of a heterosexual man, I'm more interested in the state of play between the sexes in our hyper-sexualised, pornified culture.

As young girls are told that it's empowering to pursue men aggressively and young men are learning to lie back and take it, I wonder how these acts of aggressive connection affects the psyche....

On Freud's map, this redefining of male sexuality could be seen as men searching for the mother in them and/or acting out their sexual envy towards woman.

Just as women express penis envy, is this men saying we're not lying back and taking it?

What are we watching and possibly not seeing in the bald head, bullet-proof imagery in today's "anything goes" culture? What is the symbolism in men shaving their heads?

Staying with Freud and his symbolic grammar -- the head represents the penis, while head hair is recognised as semen.

Extending the logic of these associations, long hair expresses unrestrained sexuality, while hair removal makes a statement around sexual restraint, as in celibacy or castration.

What is restrained about exposing the penis? You had to do that hair=semen move to make this theory work.

Finding something looked for.

Enlarge.

I'd wanted for a long time to find this picture, which I knew was somewhere in amongst the thousands I've uploaded into Flickr. If I'd been meticulous about tagging photos, I might have found it, but I just ran across it when I was going back into the blog archives to find those quotes about solitude.

I'm posting this picture again to celebrate finding it and to think about why this was a picture that always stuck in my mind. I don't take many pictures where I get close to strangers, because I feel that it's an intrusion, but in this case, I thought the woman was so interesting-looking that I made the effort to ask for permission.

"This isn't the 'Raid Ant-And-Roach-Killer Present: A Tribute To Vincent Gallo' party?"

"DAMMIT. I AM SO GULLIBLE."

"You know, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig. You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called 'change,' it’s still gonna stink."

Said Obama, and speaking of stink, it's raised quite a stink.

Now, I didn't blog this yesterday, because frankly, I considered it absolutely nothing. "Lipstick on a pig" is an extremely common expression, and it doesn't become taboo because somebody else made a wisecrack about lipstick on another animal or because that somebody else happens to wear lipstick.

And I don't like seeing a lot of men jumping to Sarah's defense over some other man's possible sexist slur of her. Excessive chivalry doesn't advance feminism, and women themselves, as Palin famously said, have "got to plow through." No whining.

But I'm putting this post up for 2 reasons:

1. I can see from comments on various other posts that my readers want to talk about it.

2. There's one thing I haven't seen anyone else say that I think needs to be said. Obama did not just mention a pig. He immediately mentioned a fish. That's 2 animals in rapid succession. And both of these animals are frequently used in sexual insults referring to women. The reference to the pig also has it wearing lipstick, which is obviously a female image. And the reference to a fish also has it stinking, which is exactly the aspect of fish that is used when fish are invoked to insult women. I still think it's nothing, but if you think it's something, fairness requires you to consider the remark in context.

A big crowd in Cedarburg, Wisconsin for McCain and Palin today.

Photo by Gary Porter. Click here for the full size and to see the rest of the slide show. Here's the story in the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel.

And here's the blog post by Headless Blogger -- who commented on my earlier post to say he'd gone to Cedarburg. Despite arriving some time after 9 for the 11:30 event -- an outdoor event -- he couldn't get anywhere near the stage. But he did try to figure out whether the women he saw were trying to wear their hair in the style of Sarah Palin.

Another commenter on the earlier post, M.E., said:

Headless Blogger, I was there, too! We arrived just before 10 and gave up on the line as it was easily a half-mile long, maybe more. However, we hung around an intersection a block or so from the rally site, and managed to see the motorcade go by.

... I think McCain has a *chance* at Wisconsin. Without Palin, nothing, but with her ... anything is possible.

However, Bush spent lots of time here in 2000 and 2004 and never got Wisconsin to flip to red. We're blue-purple at best.

I like the small-town America backdrop they got at that intersection in Cedarburg, with a good-looking compressed crowd. Tough luck, though, for the folks who tried and couldn't get near McCain and Palin.

AND: One more story of trying and failing to get into the happening intersection in Cedarburg:

We walked for blocks and blocks trying to try to find the end of the line, yet as far as we walked, we could only see blocks of people stretching before us. The line curved all the way around the downtown Cedarburg area; it was easily over half a mile long but I couldn't see the end, so who knows? Could have been a mile.

Now, what's the right way to fix a baby's hair?

Live-blogging night 2 of the Republican Convention.

5:22 Central Time: Just setting up the post. Let's watch!

5:31: Ugh. CNN is still going over and over the hurricane. Would they be making so much of a hurricane of this dimension if it was the Democratic Convention?

5:32: I'll have to run off at some point to go to a hair appointment. Feel free to tell me how you think I should get my hair cut. Pictures especially appreciated.

5:49: The subject is whether Sarah Palin should stay home with her "special needs" child. Can you be a mother and pursue a career? Gloria Borger, a self-identified "working mom," says you can't make "generalizations," and everyone must make her own decision.

5:57: Wolf Blitzer is pushing the meme -- which I've heard elsewhere -- that McCain is a "maverick" and that means he makes impulsive decisions like the choice of Sarah Palin. He doesn't add -- but there are versions of this meme where it is added -- that this supposedly gut level choice of Sarah Palin should stand as a warning about the way he will make decisions about foreign policy.

6:38: Super-serious singing of the the national anthem, but I really don't like the singer's enunciation. Weird to have the flag waving on a digital screen.

8:22: I'm back. Hair cut. Just scrolled through all the stuff I missed, and it seems like virtually nothing.

8:43: Very moving presentation of the story of a Medal of Honor winner, Michael Monsoor. I see from the NYT that Senator Lieberman spoke, but I didn't see that in my scroll-through, so I didn't mean to count that as "virtually nothing." What I saw was a lot of Blitzer et al. commentary. [ADDED: No, that was just a preview. I didn't miss it.]

8:53: It's Laura Bush, extolling her husband as a man of principle and resolve. She praises his achievements: the appointment of women and 2 new Supreme Court Justices, the faith based initiative, the fight against AIDS -- "you might call that change you can really believe in" -- "and let's not forget, President Bush has kept the American people safe." Will Laura's husband ever be honored? Does she believe he will? She introduces him.

8:56: And here he is, on the video screen. "I know the hard choices that fall solely to a President. John McCain's life has prepared him to make those choices. He is ready to lead this nation."

9:09: A film clip about Reagan. In the car, I heard the film clip about Abraham Lincoln. The Republican Convention, much more than the Democratic Convention, highlights the heroic individual. This fits the party's ideology. John McCain was "a foot soldier" in "the Reagan Revolution." Reagan "broke the self-confidence of the Evil Empire of Communism." And he had Nancy. He put "country first." ("Country First" is the new McCain campaign slogan.)

9:14: And now: Fred Thompson. Ah! He springs to the defense of Sarah Palin. "I say give me a tough Alaskan Governor who's taken on the political establishment of the largest state in the Union and won over the Beltway 'business as usual' crowd any day of the week!"

9:18: Fred says Sarah has got the other side "in a state of panic." And she knows "how to field dress a moose." Now, he's telling the story of John McCain's life, "putting his country first." He's putting a lot of passion into the delivery. The harrowing story of McCain's imprisonment. "We hear a lot of talk about hope these days. John McCain knows about hope. That's all he had."

9:29: Remember. After the comments go over 200, you need to click on "post a comment" and then "newer" to keep the conversation going. I know a lot of you know how to do that.

9:35: "The respect [John McCain] is given around the world is not because of a teleprompter speech designed to appeal to America's critics abroad... *ahem*.... no, it's not that."

9:38: Obama is "history-making" all right: he's the most inexperienced, left-wing candidate the Democrats have ever run -- says Thompson.

9:52: The CNN commentary is insufferable. After Thompson, they all just kept saying "red meat."

9:55: It's Joe Lieberman. I kind of love this guy. I voted for him one time. Man, he is a boring speaker though. I can't imagine him as the VP candidate. Palin is a much better speaker.

9:59: "I'm here to support John McCain because country matters more than party."

10:05: "Eloquence is no substitute for a record," Lieberman says of Obama. Now, he compares Obama to Bill Clinton. Clinton stood up to interest groups and worked with Republicans for major achievements. [ADDED: He was saying Clinton was better than Obama: "In the Senate [Obama] has not reached across party lines to get anything significant done, nor has he been willing to take on powerful interest groups in the Democratic Party. Contrast that to John McCain’s record, or the record of the last Democratic President, Bill Clinton, who stood up to some of those same Democratic interest groups and worked with Republicans to get important things done like welfare reform, free trade agreements, and a balanced budget."]

10:07: Sarah Palin is a "great lady."

10:12: He's warming up. Maybe it's not so boring now. "These are not ordinary times and John McCain is no ordinary candidate." He says what he thinks is right... ah... too much repetition. John McCain has character and experience....

10:17: After-speech commentary. Donna Brazile is talking fast but stumbles in a way -- "Look, Joe... Lieberman is a man... " -- "speaking at this conviction, this convention" -- that makes me feel sure she's reading from a teleprompter.

10:21: David Gergen thinks Lieberman has "extremely annoyed" some Democrats by not only supporting his old friend McCain but also really going after Obama "in a very personal way."

10:43: That's it for me. A decent convention night. The highlight was Fred Thompson's dramatization of McCain's Vietnam experience. Or was it Joe Lieberman telling everyone we should vote against his party?

Cindy and Laura at the convention.

I've watched dribs and drabs of the GOP convention tonight, but the coverage is annoying. Gustav turned out to be a routine hurricane coming ashore -- which is great -- but I don't want to see repetitious shots of reporters in windbreakers in the rain in front of a tree that is blowing the way streamers taped onto air conditioners blow: enough to send you the message that indeed there is a breeze. But I did stop and watch Laura Bush and Cindy McCain, who read some words off the teleprompter in support of charitable giving -- which is nice -- but I didn't listen. I hope after tonight we get the normal convention schedule as originally planned and no more of this all-about-Gustav business. Aside from Gustav, today was such an insane day, focused on a 17-year-old's pregnancy. How could that possibly be news? And yet it was. So all I want to say is, wow, Cindy McCain had on a fabulous dress. I love the color, the collar, the cut, the ropes of pearls, the big pin. And I love the white blonde hair with the bangs and the tendrils. Lovely! Laura Bush.... not so much, but maybe that was intentional. Modest. Knowing her place. Not stealing the show.

Mouth-corner spittle, in HDTV.

Amanda Hess (via Instapundit) was watching Obama looking nice and "crispy" on HDTV and then, suddenly, there was "a small collection of saliva in the left crease of the candidate’s mouth."

The development nearly incapacitated my housemate; he spent the remainder of the speech in a nervous fit, wishing aloud that one polite delegate would flag down the candidate and discretely wipe his own mouth, the telltale indication that Obama “has got something … right over … no … a little to the left … there, you’ve got it.”...

Near the speech’s end, Obama did move to wipe the corner of his mouth, causing a grand celebration among the party. However, the move only displaced the spittle, helping it to migrate lower down the lip.

Ha ha. This brings back fond memories of blogging for me. From October 13, 2004, live-blogging the last Bush-Kerry debate:

Bush is smiling a lot, and the left side of his mouth nevertheless turns down oddly. A glob of foam forms on the right side of his mouth! Yikes! That's really going to lose the women's vote. [UPDATE: the NYT and the WaPo take note of this, and only this, observation and I react to that attention here....]

And that was without HDTV. That was the first time this blog got quoted in the NYT, so I'm pretty nostalgic about Bush's spittle. But I'm looking back on the vague, fuzzy past. We've got a new crisp guy now and a wrinkly old geezer and, with HDTV, we'll be able to inspect the individual bubbles of any mouth foam.

Think too of the skin blemishes. Everyone's skin will look bad in closeup on HDTV, which brings more clarity than seeing the person in person. It's hyperrealism. And unlike in person, you can get right up close and stare at it and talk to other people in the room about it. And blog about it.

Now, it's going to be important for politicians to wear makeup, strong makeup. Not just a little powder. And then how are they going to look to the people who are around to see them in person? In fact, how are they going to look on HDTV when we can see that they've got on makeup. Garish! Crazy!

Unless....



... they are female.

Ah, finally! A real advantage for women.

Thanks for the technology, guys. We will now use it to rule the world.

ADDED: But Chip Ahoy got out his magnifying glass: