Reporter challenges State Department official to explain how the U.S. Constitution gives Jay Leno the right to make fun of religion.

State Dept. spokesperson Victoria Nuland is grilled about a Jay Leno joke that has offended Sikhs. Here's the joke, which targets Mitt Romney:



The joke-writers probably did a Google image search for something like "fancy palace" without realizing that the glorious image they retrieved depicted a site revered to the exclusion humor.

I love the way Nuland keeps a fully dignified straight face as she encounters the challenge from the Indian reporter:

VIDEO.

As I conlawprof, I find this line the most amusing:

"As India celebrates tomorrow the Constitution Day of India, I have the copy of the U.S. Constitution, and it doesn't say anywhere anything that anybody can say anything or abuse or accuse anybody's religion."

Much funnier than a Jay Leno joke.

I also think it's interesting that CNSNews — which conceives of itself as an antidote to liberal news bias — seems to fault Nuland for citing, in her response to the reporter's question about the U.S. Constitution, the "freedom of religion and tolerance for all religions" but not the Free Speech Clause of the First Amendment. Obviously, Jay Leno has a free-speech right to mock religion and to label the Golden Temple Mitt Romney's summer home. (Maybe Nuland fretted about whether Leno had violated the photographer's copyright.)

Should Nuland have boldly celebrated the American free-speech tradition or was it appropriately diplomatic to murmur assurances about respect for religion?

Rahm Emanuel naked: It gives new meaning to the phrase "Chief of Staff."

Man, I hope I'm the first person who made that joke. It's one of those ready-made jokes that's just out there. I can't believe Leno or Letterman — Leno and Letterman — haven't already made it, but let it be known, I arrived at it independently.

And I'm working on this Bob Dylan parody:

While preachers preach of evil fates
Teachers teach that knowledge waits
Can lead to hundred-dollar plates
Goodness hides behind its gates
But even the Chief of Staff to the President of the United States
Sometimes must have to stand naked.

Picture them naked. It's a great old technique for cutting the people who intimidate you down to size. It's fun too. And funny. And completely legal. At least until that day when your thought-dreams can be seen...

ADDED: Non-random excerpt from David Foster Wallace's brilliant essay about the porn industry ("Big Red Son", republished in "Consider the Lobster"):

A slight surprise is that a lot of the industry’s elite woodmen are short—5'6", 5'7"—and most of their companions tower over them. Dick Filth confirms that the contemporary industry’s 5'6" standard helps a prodigious male organ look even more prodigious on videotape, a medium that apparently does all kinds of strange things to perspective.

Sarah Palin on the new/old (Jay Leno) "Tonight Show."

(Via theblogprof via Instapundit.)

"If you came here tonight for sex with a talk show host, you've got the wrong studio."

Leno. Funny at last, taking a jab at Letterman.

Kanye West gets rewarded for his oafishness with an appearance on the new Jay Leno show.

Let's watch his effort at winning back our affection:



I "live-blog" the clip:

0:35: The numbskull audience cheer like hell as if he hadn't just done something offensive... either because hey, he's a celebrity and they came to see celebrities and bask in their shining light or because some damned cheer like hell sign lit up.

0:53: Leno butters him up disgustingly, telling him how brave he is to come on the show in his time of tribulation.

1:15: West feels so bad because "I only wanted to help people, you know. My entire life, I've only wanted to give and do something that I felt was right."

1:47: Although West just said "I immediately knew in this situation that it was wrong," Leno gets all jazzed up by what he thinks is the probing question "So when did you know it was wrong?" I assume the conversation was planned, and West put one of his lines too early in the dialogue, and Robot Leno didn't even notice. Lameness.

2:01: West now says — with dull, flat affect — that he knew it was wrong when he gave the microphone back to "her" — say her name, idiot — and she didn't keep going. The audience laughs at this "joke," and Leno awkwardly progresses to the next (planned) question, which is, paraphrasing: What would your dead mother say?

2:42: West tries to show his hurt, giving us the cue remember that his mother died and to realize that it is terribly sad when one's mother dies. He asserts the theory that his hurt led to another person's hurt, as if his macho seizing of the mike from a teenager and outraged touting of his preferred pop star (Beyoncé) came from a place of grief over his mother's death. Feel sorry for meeeeeeee. Bleh.

3:05: West vows to improve so he can "make it through this life." Okay, he has groveled enough. Leno calls an end to what I assume is a planned, mapped-out PR routine. And the audience cheers inanely, on cue, once again.

The best of Jay Leno.

I don't much like Jay Leno, but after all these years, a "10 Best" set of clips has got to be pretty good. Let's check out the best of — the surprisingly smutty — "Headlines":

Now, Obama has the Special Olympians taunting him: "That's not very good. It wouldn't beat us. He needs to practice."

The life of a President is not easy. All the criticism. Now, even the mentally disabled are taking their shots.

So much good will squandered:

[David] Axelrod's daughter, Lauren, is a longtime Special Olympian who has competed in swimming and track and field events. His wife, Susan, was part of a delegation led last month by Vice President Joe Biden to the Special Olympics World Winter Games in Boise, Idaho.

One punchline tossed on Leno far overshadows all that real connection that his administration had here. And it's especially sad because (I don't think) Obama was just spouting a new joke that sprang into his head. I think it was a scripted punchline.

Was the Special Olympics wisecrack scripted?
	Yes
	No
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AND: He gave Sarah Palin a big opening:

"This was a degrading remark about our world's most precious and unique people, coming from the most powerful position in the world," fumed former GOP veep pick and Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, whose youngest son, Trig, has Down syndrome.

"These athletes overcome more challenges, discrimination and adversity than most of us ever will," she added.

Obama skipped "Meet the Press" because David Gregory is too safe and unchallenging?

Sorry, I don't believe that. I mean, I believe David Gregory is utterly bland:

"Meet the Press" is now the de facto safe show on Sunday morning - "safe," that is, for those being interviewed.

Gregory has been handed perhaps the most important program in television journalism. It's time to start acting like the king who rules wisely yet ruthlessly. Otherwise, his legacy will match that of Garrick Utley or Bill Monroe - moderators who were highly respected but not highly feared.

But I'm not buying the notion that Obama avoided MTP — and opted for Leno — because the show is too easy. I think the show is still too hard.

So Obama was on the Leno show....

... last night. Should he be doing that?

"And I must say, your English has gotten so good."

ADDED: Yeah, I know, Leno is so awkward setting up the jokes. It's so obvious that he's got a plan to deliver a punchline. But it was still funny, and Cruz is so gorgeous.

"Ban Marriage?" is the title given to a Bloggingheads clip -- with Jack Balkin and me -- chosen for the NYT website.

Here.

The clip is also teased on the NYT front page like this:



We're sandwiched between teasers Jay Leno...

... Mr. Leno shocked the television world ... by agreeing to stay at NBC to create a new version of his show, tentatively titled “The Jay Leno Show,” at 10 every weeknight starting next September, moving from late night to prime time.

... and the presidential electors:

In a quadrennial ritual that has been criticized by some as an outdated part of the American political system, 538 electors, chosen for their party loyalty, cast their votes on Monday.... Electors are not legally bound to vote for the candidate to whom they are pledged, but they generally do.

So it's a NYT sandwich: Bloggingheads... on moldy old constitutional bread and Lenoaf. Yum!

Ugh! I have to do a second Leno post in a row!

McCain on Leno. Highlights:



Observations:

1. The band plays "Everyday People." Why?

There is a blue one who can't accept the green one
For living with a fat one trying to be a skinny one
And different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee
Oh sha sha - we got to live together

An ode to racial progress, so, I think the "Tonight Show" band is saying: It's so great that you lost! Scooby dooby doo-bee that you lost! Or is it just that we all need to get along, to make nice now that the election is over? We got to live together.... and it will be so much easier because you lost!

2. McCain makes that old, old slept like a baby joke.

3. McCain is looking lively and jovial. What else can he do? He must play the good sport, and his interest now is to preserve and build his reputation for history.

4. And he ought also to help Sarah Palin. What did he say about her? (It didn't make the highlight reel above.)

"She inspired people. She still does. And look, I'm — I couldn't be happier with Sarah Palin. And she's going back to be a great governor, and I think she will play a big role in the future of this country"....

McCain said Tuesday night that his party "has a lot of work to do," and he predicted that new leaders like Palin would help carry the party into the future.

"I really believe that Sarah Palin is amongst some, like Tim Pawlenty and Bobby Jindal, the governor of Louisiana, there's a group of young Republican governors and — mainly governors, but also some in the Senate — that I think are the next generation of leadership of our party," he said.

I'd say that's too bland, lukewarm, and Pawlenty-Jindal diluted. He owes her more.

Does anyone want to Jay Leno do sexual comedy with food props and Martha Stewart?

Here it is anyway:

Jay Leno Sexually Harasses Martha Stewart @ Yahoo! Video

Tom Cruise roasts Matt Lauer.

So Matt Lauer got one of those Friars Club roasts, and you wouldn't care -- would you? -- but Tom Cruise showed his adorable face, and he was hysterically funny:

"You know, I was just taking his advice. He told me, 'Nobody wants to hear about your dopey movie. Go crazy. People will love you for it.'

"Matt's great at giving advice. When Katie asked him if she should leave the 'Today' show for CBS, he said, 'Absolutely, you should definitely do that. People will love you for it.'

"Jay Leno was No. 1, but Matt told [NBC exec] Jeff Zucker to cut his contract. 'You'll be ahead of the curve before his ratings go down and you'll look like a genius. People will love you for it.' Leno's ratings never went down.

"A few months ago, he was talking to O.J. Simpson and he said, 'Juice, those guys in Vegas have all your stuff. Don't be a p---y, just go there and take it. Trust me, Juice. People will love you for it.'"...

"Matt and I are so close now, that if we can't be together, we talk on the phone three, four times a day. I'll call him up and ask, 'Are you watching this?' And he'll just say 'yeah,' and we'll watch the whole show together on the phone."

More here:

Cruise ended with a toast: "To our friend who we wake up to every morning only because we had the channel on NBC before we fell asleep." He then told Lauer, "Lose my number, you glib putz." And then signed off by finally saying, "Cruise out!" which was kind of unspeakably awesome. Lauer jumped up to the mike: "Tom, can you stay? We can get a booster seat."

Later, Lauer explained that he'd never been prepared for what a sensation the infamous 2005 interview would be, until he went home, "and someone told me what the word glib actually means. That burned my fucking ass!" Lauer also announced that he and Cruise have an interview scheduled for December. "So officially we have now buried the hatchet," he said. "But just between us, if he pulls that shit again, I will fuck him up. The guy is, like, five-foot-three. I will drop a building on his ass."

Do you love it when Lauer talks dirty to Tom?

This needs to be on YouTube, but it's not, so let's go back to Tom's wonderful old performance on "The Today Show" -- which will help you if you've lost track of the "glib" reference:



Ah! That never gets old.

Jay Leno to John McCain: "For $1 million, how many houses do you have?"

ADDED: This clip goes beyond the subject of McCain's innumerable houses, to the question of why the ads have gotten so negative. McCain blames Obama for failing to agree to do town hall sessions.