Grammys.

I have no interest in this topic. I mean I was slightly interested in this photo of Ellen DeGeneres aiming her nose at the "keyhole" opening of Katy Perry's dress and in the fact that Lena Dunham has a boyfriend and he's in a band that had the "Song of the Year." And I'm interested in speculating about whether it was because of the Grammys that they ran such an atrocious episode of "Girls" last night. (The last few episodes of the show had been great, but this one descended into real estate porn: The girl gets a boyfriend seemingly for the purpose of letting us see all the rooms in his expensive house. Oh, that wasn't all there was. There was Lena Dunham — in one of said rooms and in nothing but her panties — playing ping pong. That carried forward the show's theme of really awkward nakedness. That's why I had to correct myself after I said "I might as well be watching HGTV.")

"Did President Obama Just Make A Blowjob Joke?"

He was speaking at a gay and lesbian fundraiser at L.A.'s Beverly Wilshire. (The "wonderful friend" is Ellen DeGeneres, who once engaged in a pushups contest with Michelle Obama.)

I want to thank my wonderful friend who accepts a little bit of teasing about Michelle beating her in pushups -- (laughter) -- but I think she claims Michelle didn’t go all the way down. (Laughter.) That's what I heard. I just want to set the record straight -- Michelle outdoes me in pushups as well. (Laughter.) So she shouldn’t feel bad. She's an extraordinary talent and she's just a dear, dear friend -- Ellen DeGeneres. Give Ellen a big round of applause.

Take the poll. (Does that sound dirty to you?!) But before you do, consider that Obama has a bone to pick — does that sound dirty to you? — with Bill Clinton right now, and given the strong association between Bill Clinton and blowjobs and the suspicion that Obama is currently pissed at Bill Clinton, he may have been engaging in some subtle jousting with Bill Clinton — does that sound dirty to you? —about the  sexual proclivities of their respective wives.

Did President Obama make a blowjob joke? What's most likely?
	Yes. Completely intentional, with a touch of deniability written in.
	Obama was mindlessly reading what was on the TelePrompTer, comic pauses included.
	No one, not even the speech writer, intended the double meaning.
	It's not a blowjob joke. People are looking for sexual meaning where there is none.
pollcode.com free polls

ADDED: Now, I'm seeing the video, and the analysis — difficult from the text alone — becomes easy:



The look on his face, after he says "That's what I heard," shows very clearly, to me, that Obama did not realize there was a double entendre. He looks troubled in a way that is incongruous with his previous expression. This audience is laughing, and they are laughing too much for the context as he had understood it. He now knows why, and he is imagining other audiences hearing this and attacking him. When I saw that expression on his face, I genuinely felt sorry for him.

ALSO: As several commenters have noted, if it is a joke, it is more of a female-on-female oral sex joke, so the term "blowjob" — used by Buzzfeed at the link — is off.

"Five years ago today, a few thousand of us gathered in Springfield, Illinois, to launch an improbable campaign for president."

Email from Barack Obama.

The task was to build a grassroots movement capable of making the kind of change we believe in.

You've got to see this video about that journey -- it will make you smile...

Oh, really? Let me try...



Trying to rekindle the old spirit. Did I smile? Of course! It's a nice presentation of all the smiley Obama-related things there are... including catching the fly, dancing with Ellen, hugging his daughters, singing "Let's Stay Together," and saying he just killed Bin Laden. And Joe Biden. I always laugh when I see Joe Biden, but maybe that's just me.

"Her bodice looks like the outside of the rib. Over the shoulder looks like it does come from the shoulder."

How fitting!

"There are no expensive cuts here, no real steaks," he said. "The best you've got is the flank steak on top of her head."...

"It's the cheaper end cuts - not including her. You got about $100 of meat there," said Mark Cacioppo, 30, of Queens....

"It ain't refrigerated. It's probably stinking bad. She's in the lights: It's cooking," said Peter Cacioppo....

"What's next: the family cat made into a hat?" asked Ingrid Newkirk, head of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

PETA always uses that rhetorical move. Instead of that animal you don't care about, picture the family pet.

Anyway, Lady Gaga went on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" — too bad YouTube hasn't yet perfected the internet equivalent of Smell-O-Vision — and explained herself...



... with delightful incoherence. She doesn't want to be "just another bitch in a dress." She claims it has to do with her opposition to Don't Ask Don't Tell, which flummoxes the poor vegan Ellen.

I love the part where she proclaims herself "The most judgment-free person on the face of the earth." Ha. When did "judgment" acquire a 100% negative meaning.

"American Idol" will never find a true replacement for Paula.

Ellen is out. She was nice, but she didn't know much about music and preserving her reputation for niceness (and comedy) trumped any dedication to judging the contestants. Now, there's talk of bringing in Jennifer Lopez. Does Lopez bring niceness to the judge's table? She may have Paula-level musical expertise... but will she project the love and the crazy that Paula gave us? No, they will never find another Paula, though they may one day understand how subtly perfect she was for their impossibly popular little TV talent contest.

Do you like the idea of Howard Stern as the replacement for Simon Cowell on "American Idol"?

Can Stern-DeGeneres byplay make up for the loss of Simon and Paula?

Please don't clutter the comments with statements about hating "American Idol" and not getting why anyone but an idiot would waste time watching it. That opinion has been thoroughly aired here and does not meet the interestingness standard anymore. I'm looking for real discussion of Howard Stern and what he would mean for "American Idol" and how important Cowell is to its success.

"There's nothing to explain. It's perfectly obvious. She's stoned."

Just a clip from the early 1960s TV show "Pete and Gladys":



I was thinking about this show — not because of the Gladys on the Ellen show — but because the actor who plays the father in the movie "Juno" — which I watched the other day — reminded me of Harry Morgan, who plays Pete. I guess most people remember Harry Morgan from "M*A*S*H," but I never watched that show. That was after my sitcom-watching days. In fact, I thought of "Pete and Gladys" as Morgan's later work. The show was a spinoff of "December Bride." Here are the opening credits to "Pete and Gladys" — retro, unpleasantly retro.

Here's a taste of "December Bride," showing the young Morgan and featuring the surprising line "Ah, Lily, what's an extra bong or two? We'll love it!"



By the way, Morgan, born in 1915, is still alive.

Perhaps the world is fully of brilliant naturally comic characters who will reach us one day — perhaps by calling up Ellen DeGeneres.

It's Gladys.



(Via Bloggingheads.)

Clay's...

... gay.



Compare:



Apparently, "yep" is the special lesbian way to say yes.