"'Genocide,' one eulogist called it, lamenting that guns had 'become part of our wardrobe.'"

"Another exhorted the politicians in the pews, 'Don’t give us lip service.'"

In the pews were Michelle Obama, Valerie Jarrett, Arne Duncan, Rahm Emanuel, Pat Quinn, and  Jesse Jackson. In the casket was Hadiya Pendleton, who lived to the age of 15.

"Illinois lawmakers may have gotten stymied on the issue of pension reform..."

"... a multi-billion-dollar mess affecting every taxpayer in the state. But at least they managed to pass a bill involving miniature horses."

Under a measure the House sent to Gov. Quinn Thursday night – the evening members were supposed to consider a cost-saving pension bill – people with disabilities could use miniature horses as service animals in public places, much like guide dogs are used.

That's what's happening in our neighboring state — and I do mean neighboring...



Nice leadership under a Democratic governor. But don't worry, Wisconsin. We might get a Democratic governor too, very soon. Just a couple weeks. There's a 2.7% chance.

"WI Supreme Court validates Walker union law — now will Quinn pay up on Bears-Packers bet?"

"[I]t's time to put some pressure on Illinois' hapless governor, Pat Quinn."

Here's some pressure on Quinn from last April:

Quinn was scheduled to fulfill the bet on Feb. 21 at Feeding America Eastern Wisconsin, a food bank in Milwaukee. But he canceled because Democrats and Republicans in Wisconsin were at each other's throats at the time. Plus, Walker was trying to steal Illinois jobs....

I asked Walker's office if they'd like to publicly condemn Quinn for his foot-dragging and perhaps throw him under the Packers team bus. They didn't seem too upset...

There's one other bet that hasn't been satisfied yet. We're still waiting for the Carnegie Museum of Art in Pittsburgh, the city we vanquished in the Super Bowl on Feb. 6, to lend us the Renoir painting, "Bathers With Crab," as they promised. We want our "lounging, fleshy females," as our art critic described it.

We want our lounging fleshy females...



... and our fleshy governor from the south. In a soup kitchen. Pronto!