"We know where you’re going to use it, and it’s great for that area."

What's the best way to encourage men to powder their balls?

... Dry Down Friction Free Powder by Jack Black ($18 for 6 ounces), with cornstarch, lavender and green tea, “works great south-of-border,” according to its packaging.

“Guys have a great sense of humor about this stuff, and they appreciate us saying, ‘We know where you’re going to use it, and it’s great for that area,’ ” said Patricia Finn, vice president for marketing at Jack Black, which has no affiliation with the comedian of the same name.

Great. I'm sure the famous Jack Black appreciates your associating his name with cornball jokes. Literally cornball. It's corn(starch) for your balls!

Man Powder, by Matte for Men ($26 for 10.5 ounces)...  its directions recommend using it on “underarms, feet or ‘down below!’ ”...

Introduced last year, Dry Goods ($12.50 to $14 for 5.4 ounces)... features a unique valve that permits spraying it “upside down for those hard to reach places”....

A unique valve for your unique valve.

Tim Joyce, the president of Joyce Labs, which makes Dry Goods, ... said the name Dry Goods “is totally euphemistic to make you think of your business.”

His business is your business. (Requisite song link: here.)

Even Gold Bond ($8 for 10 ounces), the 103-year-old brand of general-use medicated powder, is deploying double entendres... “I never suit up without Gold Bond Medicated Powder — it keeps my equipment dry.”

Looks like the advertising industry is desperately in need of a man who knows how to write snappy quips about balls. And I know just the man, and they say he may soon be looking for work....

ADDED: If Anthony's unavailable, there's always Louie.