Joel Achenbach wishes he could be "something other than a detestable, oozing, suppurating lesion on the body of civilization."

He's "the embodiment of all that is wrong with America":

"On weekends I engage in countryside motoring as if it's a form of exercise. Worse, during the week, despite the availability of mass transit, I almost always drive to work, a five-mile jaunt on surface streets past one bus stop after another."

Joel's not about to stop sinning. He likes his car, his "empowerment device," and since most Americans feel the same way, he thinks what we need is some sort of "transformer" car, basically a golf cart with "clip-on parts" or something.

Via Jac, who, apparently, is not amused by Achenbach's comic stylings and disdains the desire for power at the expense of "the planet."