"Seems like most weddings I go to these days prominently include a vaguely guilty shout-out from the happy couple..."

"... to all their gay friends who can't get married."

So, it seems that in Madison, when man-and-woman couples throw a wedding these days, they feel the need to weave in a gay rights theme. (And an environmental theme.)

The ceremony itself included a bit of activism. A nice touch was the wedding band made from the recycled gold of an old computer. A better touch was the announcement that the civil part of the their marriage was done in Minnesota in opposition to the recently passed Wisconsin initiative that gay couples should not marry, even though this couple was not gay.

Go that couple one better and just send out an announcement saying that if everyone were to travel here and consume the traditional foods and drinks, it would burn an estimated X amount of fossil fuel, thus contributing to the impending calamity of global warming, and moreover, making a show of getting married is an inappropriate affront to gay people, and therefore, the couple is planning to walk to city hall to tie the know with as little fuss as is legally possible. We welcome your company if and only if you can walk there too. And please don't send presents. Just send us an ecard with a message of good wishes -- keep it low key out of respect for the gay -- and a calculation of the amount of fossil fuel left unburned by the nonconsumption and nonshipping of whatever item you'd have chosen.