NYT's Mark Bittman comes to Madison to talk about food and greenness... and insults Scott Walker.

Jeez. Why is it that we can't just enjoy our waffles? He comes here for some damned Green Day exposition and...

Bittman won Madison hearts, extolling the virtues of locally produced food and poking fun at corn producers in Iowa and Gov. Scott Walker.

"On a non-personal level, we have to look to the example of pink slime and Scott Walker and [ask]... how do we regain the power that's rightfully ours? What's government's role? Can corporations be made to behave?"

What exactly is "rightfully ours" here? Bittman isn't a Wisconsin voter, and Wisconsin voters elected Scott Walker (and the Republican legislature, which keeps forwarding him signable bills). But there's some governmental role he wants, to make corporations "behave"? What's the misbehavior — selling food that people choose to buy? What discipline does he have in mind?

Bittman's approach to promoting healthy eating is simple: tax junk food and subsidize nutritious, healthy food. But, thanks to the influence of large corporations, our approach to food has been the exact opposite, Bittman said.

Why not just withdraw the subsidies? Why is taxing so dear to the liberal's heart? And who will end up paying a tax on junk food? I don't think that tax is progressive. And it could be portrayed as part of the "war on women." It will hurt single working mothers. Ironically, it would benefit the single-earner family, where one adult is freed to shop for scratch ingredients and to cook nice meals.

To underscore the severity of the situation, Bittman fired off some alarming statistics. More than half of Americans are overweight or obese. On average, only 10% of our calories come from unprocessed fruits and vegetables (the rest come from junk food and industrially produced animal products)....

Fired off? Alarming? What embarrassing skittishness! Half of Americans are overweight. Thanks for coming all the way from NY to deliver that amazing statistic. And 10% of our calories come from unprocessed fruits and vegetables... well, yeah, these are low calorie foods. I've got an alarming statistic that will scare the hell out of you: 0% of our calories come from drinking water!

And could you do better math when reporting alarming statistics: "only 10% of our calories come from unprocessed fruits and vegetables (the rest come from junk food and industrially produced animal products)"? If that were an accurate statement it would mean that none of our calories come from processed fruits and vegetables, that we never eat animal products that are not industrially produced, and ordinary stuff like grains, bread, and pasta must be "junk food."

On the policy side, he suggested that the government actively discourage soda and junk food, and prevent children from purchasing them. Food stamps should not pay for them, and they should be taxed in the same way as cigarettes, Bittman said.

Here's your nutritional bit, man. No oral pleasure for you.