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Friday, September 11, 2009

"Hi I'm just like you I worry about getting fat and finding the right man to validate my pointless existence where all I do is worry about getting fat and finding the right man to validate my pointless existence..."

"... but also the difference is that I invariably live in New York (or London if I must) where I am a struggling intern/PR lackey/copywriter/journalist and I live in a small apartment with either a cat or a hilarious gay man or a hilarious gay cat and it's ever so cosmopolitan and fun and just when I think I will always be dating a series of Mr. Wrongs for the rest of my life I meet BRAD/JULIO/LAWRENCE/SEPHIROTH depending on if I am from Oklahoma, Florida, Georgia, or Final Fantasy fanfic and then after that we have some fun misunderstandings and then my bitch of a boss (because female bosses are always bitches) steals my man (never trust a woman in a position of power, you see, is the moral here) and I have to do some CRAZY THINGS to have my revenge and then I level up and I get the boss bitch's job and my man back all at once and THE END i high-five my gay cat and off we go to the sequel where we are sexy ore miners on a distant asteroid (but we still love shoes!!!!!)"

No, that's the joke. Here's the real:
While the kids are fed and then wiped down and diverted with Play-Doh, I load the washing machine with armloads of my new clothes. As I stuff in a size 4 blouse, my iPhone beeps to tell me someone I know has just updated their Facebook status.

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