"It would be weird to keep a man around to fetch things!"

Something I said in the comments to an October 2008 post titled "So, I've been thinking of getting a dog...." Note that I met Meade in January 2009 and married him later that year. Here's the context of the highlighted quote. I'd said I was thinking of getting a poodle and somebody said "Ann, women with poodles are like men in shorts." My response was:

Eh, if I was just trying to get men to like me, I would have kept my mouth shut about not liking them in shorts. But it's an interesting issue: What dog should a woman get if what she wants is to make herself as attractive as possible to men?

Somebody else, recommending boxers, said "they sleep a lot, and especially love to sleep with you," and I said:

Is that considered a plus? There is no way on earth I want to sleep with a dog (unless it's some sort of emergency freezing survival situation).

Meade spoke up, responding to "What dog should a woman get if what she wants is to make herself as attractive as possible to men?"

That would be no dog. Men are not attracted to women with dogs. We want to BE your dog, not be WITH your dog.

And to "There is no way on earth I want to sleep with a dog":

At least you don't want to share your bed with a dog. So there is hope.

And then:

Here's what you'll have if you get a Lab:

A shadow. He will follow you from room to room. It will drive you out of your beautiful mind. When you get up, he stands up. When you sit down, he will lie at your feet. Probably ON your feet. When you go to the kitchen for something to nibble on, he is right there with hangdog eyes saying, "Come ta thinkuvit, I'm hungry again too. May I have what you're having."

He will bring you anything and everything to pathetically try to please you - your slippers, your bra, your panties, your laptop. Sure, you say, wouldn't that be convenient? And it would be. IF you are the sort of ill-natured bad sport drag to have around mean and unfriendly person who likes her slippers, bra, panties, and laptop soaked in drool.

Believe me - a man can do all the things a Lab can do without bankrupting you with vet bills.

Which made me say:

It would be weird to keep a man around to fetch things!

And Meade said:

Exactly. That's my point. A fetch-crazy Lab, you will be stuck with for a good ten or twelve years. An obsessed-to-please will-do-anything-just-to-hear-the-music-of-your-laughter man, you just show to the door when you can't take any more.

And that's exactly what happened (except the part about not letting the "dog" sleep with me).