How can you possibly avoid saying the wrong thing to someone who's ill?

Instapundit links to an article called "10 things not to say to someone when they’re ill." The things are all things that an ordinary person would think of saying, like "I feel so sorry for you."

It made me want to look up a passage I remembered from David Rakoff's excellent book of essays "Half Empty." Rakoff has cancer, and he's been told the treatment will need to be the amputation of an arm and shoulder. He writes:

A friend asks if I’ve “picked out” my prosthetic yet, as though I’d have my choice of titanium-plated cyborgiana at my disposal, like some amputee Second Life World of Warcraft character. Another friend, upon hearing my news, utters an unedited, “Oh my God, that’s so depressing!” Over supper, I am asked by another, “So if it goes to the lungs, is it all over?”...

But here’s the point I want to make about the stuff people say. Unless someone looks you in the eye and hisses, “You fucking asshole, I can’t wait until you die of this,” people are really trying their best. Just like being happy and sad, you will find yourself on both sides of the equation many times over your lifetime, either saying or hearing the wrong thing. Let’s all give each other a pass, shall we?