Knees together, panties in a twist... or: Do you want Friess with that?

A right-wing geezer who doesn't know how to tell a groaner of an old joke confuses some lefty bloggers who don't know what they've just heard.  The joke, as phrased by Santorum's best billionaire friend, Foster Friess, was:

Back in my day, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.

Alex Seitz-Wald at ThinkProgress is all:

Given that Aspirin is not a contraceptive, Friess seems to be suggesting that women keep the pill between their knees in order to ensure they legs [sic] stay closed to prevent having sex. Conspicuously, Friess doesn’t put the same burden on men.

I love the way he [she?] throws in the cursory feminist analysis to offset his plodding getting of the joke.

Michael Falcone at ABCNews's The Note, is stuck under the embarrassing headline "Santorum's Top Super  PAC Donor Suggests Women Should Use Aspirin For Contraception." Falcone soberly delivers the news that it's a joke: "He smiled as he said it, but wasn’t laughing. The remark alludes to an old joke about abstinence."

Aspirin's not a contraceptive, but have you heard about Coca-Cola? Back in my day...

Coke (and Dr Pepper in the southern States) douches have been part of contraceptive lore at least since the 1950s, with the common belief being that the carbonic acid in Coke killed the sperm and "exploded" the sperm cells, while the carbonation of the drink forced the jet of liquid into the vagina....

That is, after intercourse, you shake up the bottle, stick it in, and let it shoot up in there! If you think that's stupid, check over the home remedies you think work, all your "holistic" and "alternative" things.