"A morass that starts out as a quagmire, then morphs into a cesspool and finally turns into a slime pit on the road to its ultimate destination."

Joe Queenan explains — at some length — exactly what it takes for a movie to be the worst movie ever made. And by that standard, something like "The Hottie and the Nottie" isn't even in the running. To be truly bad, at the very least, important people had to have worked very hard making something that they believed was going to be quite profoundly wonderful.

Link via Dan Drezner, who thinks the worst movie he's seen, by Queenan's standard, is "Caligula." Queenan adheres to the "Heaven's Gate" school of thought.

ADDED: In other news: "Lindsay Lohan to star in new Charles Manson movie."