Things about hotels.

Douglas Coupland is doing a TimesSelect column this month. (Link for subscribers.) Today he's got a list of 7 things he hates about hotels. Go ahead, make up your own if you don't get TimesSelect. I'll bet you can come up with some funnier stuff then "incompetent front-desk staff." That's one of his entries.

I'm writing this post from a hotel room, actually, and I could bitch about the one thing I don't like, which is having to pay extra for the internet, which only seems to happen in the most expensive hotels. It just makes them look old. No one's impressed that you have the internet. We'll be pissed if you don't, which today is like not having a bathroom. So don't try to sell it to me. It's like having to pay to get to the bathroom.

(Remember pay toilets? When I was a kid, I could never understand why someone would pay a dime to use one of the stalls when the others are free. Now that I understand why, they don't have them anymore. But they were an affront to egalitarianism. Still, we tolerate "first class" on airplanes, so what's the problem?)

Coupland also offers 5 "fun secrets" about hotels. I liked this one:

Most hotels have an armoire-type thing where they stash the TV set. Next time you go into your hotel room, stand up on a chair and look on top of the armoire. When people are checking out of a room, it’s where they dump stuff they don’t want to take with them, but can’t throw away in case the maid finds it. Stuff that could get them arrested or cause them shame. Really harsh porn. Pot. Pills. Coins. Touristy things that people gave them that they don’t really want. It accumulates from one year to the next.

Hey, make up some more "fun secrets" about hotels.