"Modern Love."

This week's "Modern Love" columnist is a 41-year-old woman whose alternative to married life is a string of nonsexual relationships with guys in their 20s: "I think I like young guys, especially guys in their 20's, because, at heart, I am a guy in my 20's."

Maybe then my readers who are guys in their 20s will understand this column better than I did.

I read these "Modern Love" columns most weeks, and I'm getting the impression that what the editors are looking for is weird detail and complete ineptitude at self-perception. "Modern," you know, means hopelessly at sea. And "love" means, well, anything but love.